I Say Things Like “Stateside”. So, Yeah. I’m Pretty Worldly.

Oh did I say it that way? I’m sorry, it has just been a while since I’ve been in the states. My mistake, that’s so embarrassing. Seriously, I don’t want to be that guy. You just get so used to speaking a certain way, you know? And then you come back stateside… Oh mierda, there I go again.

Please bare with me, I’m not sure if you noticed but I travel quite a bit, and sometimes I just get SO ingrained in a local culture that it’s hard to shake it off. Honestly if you think it’s obnoxious, just imagine how hard it is for me. Just the other day I was at a local sports taverna, enjoying some lekka boneless braai chicken wings with an ice cold pivo, and just when the craic got good with the other blokes at the pub, I got some dirty looks when I accidentally referred to an American football penalty as a yellow card. Well sumiiii-masen!

Listen mate, don’t take any of this the wrong way. I pump my petrol the same as you, one litre at a time. It’s just that I’m kind of worldly now, innit? Don’t focus on the fact that I may have grown up a few blocks from Rue Michigan. Or that Whole Foods just opened a new souk across the calle from my flat. Focus instead on my WeChat post from the other day where I joked about why there are no Ticos in Tikal. It’s kawaii. Or check out my entire blog dedicated to jokes that would only be funny to people as interested in world travel as myself. Did you guys know that the prefix “meta” is derived from ancient Greek? Just a fun fact, neither aqui nor alli.

Whether you’re in Firenze or Munchin or Paradise (a Floridian term for Buffalo Wild Wings), you have to respect us worldly folk just like we’re you’re neighbours down the street. Because that’s what we are! Just because we might pick up a few words along our journeys doesn’t mean we don’t fit in back home or that we can’t contribute to and function within American society. Oh my ankle brace? Well it’s not my fault the tube in New York doesn’t warn you about the gap.