Maeklong Market Is The World’s Least Convenient Train Station. A TripAdvisor Review.

I don’t usually write TA reviews, but after this experience I felt compelled to warn others. 

A good train station is all about efficiency, traveler comfort, and ease of navigation. It’s safe to say Maeklong station on the outskirts of Bangkok falls woefully short in all three categories. Forget NYC’s Port Authority Bus Terminal or Tokyo’s Shinjuku Station, Bangkok’s Maeklong has to be the most frustrating transit station in the world, and seems hellbent on ignoring what travelers are looking for. 

Not one pre-made club sandwich? What is this?

Where to begin? Let’s start with the food. While admittedly plentiful in options, the cuisine offered showed no attempt at catering to the on-the-go crowd that frequent transportation hubs. Not only was there no Dunkin, Pret, or even a damn Joe and the Juice, but the majority of the food was either unattached to a points based loyalty program or barely prepared. Being in the hurry that I was when I was there, I ordered a quick sushi roll and instead received an entire raw catfish in a plastic bag. It was unhygienic, partially alive, and criminally underseasoned.

This was literally the only monitor in the entire place

The technology facilities are also in dire need of an upgrade. While the retractable roof was novel if kitschy gimmick, this was accompanied by zero WiFi, no charging stations in sight, and air conditioning that may as well have been a light breeze. If Maeklong really wants to appeal to the lucrative business traveler demographic it really needs to revamp its infrastructure or at least put in a stylish lounge that no one is allowed to use. Even the train tracks themselves appeared woefully outdated, clearly lacking the Darwinian third rail required to keep the path clear.

Out of the way! Progress coming through!

Which leads me to perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the station: the slow and laborious crawl to the platform. If you have a tight connection to make or an important meeting to get to, make sure you buffer in ample time for the train to inch tediously toward the terminus, pausing incessantly to make way for every speck of local business, cultural history, and human life. Never before have I seen a form of transportation so unconcerned with forward motion, passenger prioritization, and crushing everything in its path. Truly sad to see how far some places still have to go. 

2 stars. (I met my fiancé outside the station, otherwise this would be 1)