The Best Travel Backpacks For Emotional Baggage
You carry a lot when you travel. You carry your clothes, your toiletries, your Cirpro, your cameras, your laptop, your backup Cipro, your headphones, your backup clothes for when your backup Cipro doesn’t do the trick, your passport. But you also carry the deep-seeded psychological issues that without a doubt caused you to hit the road in the first place.
That’s a lot of baggage for a simple piece of luggage to fit, especially if you’re looking to run from the infernal demons of your mind for an extended period of time. But don’t worry. The trusty gear experts at Jetlag Millionaire have slung every shoulder strap, zipped every zipper, cried into every secret compartment, and we have compiled a list of the best backpacks for carrying both your travel essentials and your unrelenting emotional hangups. Here they are:
The Osprey Big Daddy 60L
Osprey is a big name in travel bakcpacks. And Daddy is perhaps the biggest name in emotionally crippling anxiety issues. A collaboration between the two was essentially inevitable, but the results speak for themselves. The dual father resentment pockets in the main inside container offer both convenience and security. They provide an easy, safe place to stuff a wallet, or a passport, or the memory of Dad forgetting to pick you up from volleyball practice because he was too busy playing poker with “Downtown” Darrel Akers and his no-good cousins from Albequerque, or a smart phone.
The North Face Mystique
Just because you’re incessantly fleeing your problems by traveling the world doesn’t mean you know exactly what those problems are. If you have the vague sense that something majorly fucked up happened in your childhood but can’t quite put a finger on it, and also the phrase “put a finger on it” makes you uncomfortable, this is the backpack for you. Multiple repressed memory compartments make this the bag in which it’s just as easy to lose your forgotten traumas as it is easy to find your boarding pass. Go back to a regular Jansport after trying this guy out? Forget that.
The REI Plush 2060
Carrying around a lot of weight can be taxing, both on your back and your eternal soul. Luckily the geniuses at REI have created advanced suppression shoulder straps that work to soften the blow of lugging around your belongings and permanent brain scars. The regret-wicking material is super breathable and you’d be lucky to find a backpack that makes better use of slow-and-steady-let’s-just-get-through-tonight-and-take-it-from-there velcro latches. You can’t put a price on comfort!
The Eagle Creek DeepSleep
Some brains are scarred worse than others. And for those explorers whose emotional nightmares have rendered them unconscious for an extended period of time, Eagle Creek has got you covered. With extra padding on the bottom for convenient chest-resting when the gurnee has to be wheeled from country to country, exceptional waterproofing to prevent against drool damage, a yes/no whistle for the exhale-capable catatonic explorer, Eagle Creek has really created the backpack of your dreams with the DeepSleep.
So don’t let the prospect of abandoning your issues and living worry free intimidate you. Because with these top-of-the line packing options at your disposal, you can bring those issues with you wherever you go. Simply put, there are no longer any excuses not to be the same neurotic mess you are at home anywhere in the world. Happy unhappy travels.
